She is sooo out of here...

[altivo]

Well, some of you read my earlier post about Cherokee Dawn. I've been struggling along trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but today is the last straw. This morning on the way out to the pasture she pulled every bad trick she used to try before I sent her away to the trainer. No remorse, no response to any of the tools or aids I was told to use if she misbehaved that way again. It was as if I didn't exist. Nothing seemed to penetrate her consciousness.

Tonight, coming back to the barn, she was good for the first half way. Normally she's better coming back than going out, because she's full of grass and kind of sleepy. Then she tried her forging-crowding trick again, where she rushes ahead of you and when you hold her back and tell her to stop she cuts across in front of you. I straightened her out and she refused to go forward, another old trick where she spreads all four feet out and plants them hard in the ground as if to dare you to move her. I took a half step forward and gently encouraged her to follow, speaking quietly and giving just the lightest pull on the lead. Normally she does a sort of "Oh, all right" thing where she reluctantly takes a step and then follows again. Not this time. She put her head down like a bull, turned, and charged me as if she intended to knock me down and run over me. She did hit me but fortunately I am big and solid enough that I didn't go down. I yelled at her and swatted her on the chest.

Then she came along nicely again for about 200 feet before repeating the whole thing. This time I was ready for it and when she charged me she got a good hard yank on her rope halter, which ought to hurt like heck. It didn't seem to bother her, but she simmered down and went the rest of the way to her stall.

That's it, though. She's had her last chance. I will not have a horse that tries to kill me. No horse has ever really frightened me before. I am good to them, I have never been cruel or harsh beyond necessity. Usually they seem to like me very well. Our other three come, often at a run, when they see me, begging for scritches and pats. Dawn runs to me too, but tries to knock me down.

I believe John when he says his wife and several children were able to lead her without difficulty. But there's something about us, or about our place, that makes a different personality of her. I can't have it. I don't dare let my partner try to handle her, I'm afraid of her myself now, and she has lost her home. I will offer to give her to John if he wants her. If not, she has to be out of here ASAP. The next auction, she's gone. I don't even care now if she goes to slaughter, and that is truly amazing.

--edit, 6:00 am on May 1, 2005--
What I wrote in haste was obviously not clear. I do not hate Dawn, I have never hated Dawn, and I would not send her to slaughter. The "I don't even care" statement had reference instead to the fact that I have been afraid to sell her to anyone because I would then have no control over her fate. There would be some possibility that a future owner, somewhere down the timeline, would commit the unthinkable. My statement there was only to say that my inability to provide her with a home (and I can't any longer, she has made it impossible) had overcome my will to protect her at all cost. I am still working to find a place for her, but it has to be fast. She has two good prospects, and may have a new home within the week.

Comments

[hgryphon.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's quite odd... Maybe she got used to children and a larger person spooks her. That's what people say happens with dogs...

[chakawolf.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear that, and I don't blame you!

[moose-93395.livejournal.com]

That's a rather large step from calling her your child just previously.

[cats-haven.livejournal.com]

Wow... she must have really gotten to you to change heart so fast. I'm sorry to hear that she pushed you so hard.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

That kind of thing is possible, but not this time. John is bigger than I am, so she was exposed to a whole range.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is, I agree entirely. And I still can't help loving her which just makes it worse. I don't understand what is going on, and neither does the trainer.

There is a point, though, where you have to draw the line. Risk of serious injury or death is that line for me. Someone else may be able to deal with her, but I can't. She may be seeing me as another horse rather than a human, that is quite possible, but I am not strong enough or heavy enough to treat her the way another horse would.

[animist.livejournal.com]

Best wishes to both you and her. I hope she finds a home where she finds happiness. And that you find some happiness out of this too. Take care!

[altivo.livejournal.com]

It's a logistics problem. I *have* to go back to work Monday. My partner, who is smaller than I am and doesn't have as much experience or confidence with horses has to deal with her when I am not here.

I don't want her to have to spend all her time in a stall, but I won't have him put physically at risk trying to care for her. The physical layout of our property doesn't leave a lot of options for dealing with her. Our horses need to walk about an eighth of a mile between barn and grass pasture, through a woodlot. The other three do this easily. They may be a little overeager at times, but a word or two reminds them that it's time to slow down.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Hooves are crossed. John is coming back sometime today to look at what she's doing. With any luck, he'll agree to take her. I'd transfer ownership to him without hesitation. He has a larger place with a dozen horses and a lot more experience than I have. Because Dawn hasn't known him from birth as she has me, she has to see him as human. I really suspect that my problem is that I seem like a horse to her. She is trying to play with me, or challenge me for rank. And when I try to make it clear that she must treat me as a human, it only confuses her.

The ability to really shift shapes would fix it, but I don't have that.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

We'll resolve it somehow. I'm not really going to hand her over for slaughter. That was hot air, even a couple of hours after the incident.

[animist.livejournal.com]

The funny thing about love is that you can still love someone even if you don't like them. You can be angry and still love. The loving thing to do is to find her a new home. I wish you and her the best.

[animist.livejournal.com]

"I really suspect that my problem is that I seem like a horse to her. She is trying to play with me, or challenge me for rank. And when I try to make it clear that she must treat me as a human, it only confuses her."

I think this is a very important issue. I deal with this somewhat in dealing with dogs. I have to be careful in body language. Take my mother's dog, Peanuts, the Golden Retreiver. I have to use one kind of human dominance body language as a human to do tasks involving care and maintainance, and reserve the canine body language for when we are playing. I have the advantage in that I can reserve canine body language for when I am on all fours, as then I am eye to eye with the dog. I do have trouble when I am on the stairs and he is upstairs, as I am usually coming or going and he's eye level and wanting to challenge me for dominance. I can only imagine the challenge of dealing zoomorphically with a large animal like a horse!