Weird retail dream
Jan. 24th, 2007 08:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
altivoThis is an odd one, and I found it so funny that I woke up laughing. Twice.
We don't have a very high opinion of home improvement giant stores like Home Depot or Menards, but we still do shop there once in a while because there is little choice left. We both long for the days when we first bought our house in Chicago, mid-1980s, when there was a hundred year old hardware store a couple of blocks away, operated by a couple of guys in their sixties. No matter what you needed, you could go in there and describe it and they either had it, or could get it. Hinge pins for doors made in the 20s? No problem, they're up on that top shelf, just wait while I get the ladder... That sort of thing. Of course they decided to retire, and sold the business to an absentee owner who hired twenty somethings to run the store, and you can guess how that went. In any case, the building is gone now, torn down and replaced by condos.
So. Now you go into Home Depot and literally all you can find are teenagers who don't know a hinge pin from a ten penny nail. God help you if you only know the name or description of the item and don't have a sample with you, because you'll never find it except by accident (if they even stock it at all) and if they don't stock it, they aren't going to order it for you. But there isn't anywhere else to go for this stuff except possibly mail order from somewhere like Cumberland General Store or Lehman's.
But back to the dream. I'm sure it was Menards. They had just opened a huge (literally, several acres of floor space) store and we went to see it. (Probably because they sent a flyer in the mail offering a chance to win something. Gary can't refuse those.) Among other things, it had room after room of "demonstration" space where they could give lessons on how to put up dry wall or install faucets. While touring these rooms, I chanced to look into one where they were about to demonstrate a new system that could be built into drop ceilings, such as are used in many office workspaces, that would function as a dust removal and collection unit. This, the blurbs said, would reduce allergies and energy efficiency problems in buildings where heating and cooling systems run through the drop ceiling space. Makes sense, actually.
So there were rows of chairs set up in this room and I decided to see the demonstration. People filled the seats and a guy came in and talked about the advantages and how inexpensive the installation was when amortized over the life of the building, etc. etc. Then he got to the demonstration part, and walked over to a switch on the wall. He would just flip the switch, and the system would remove all the accumulated dust from the ceiling space in a minute or two. He did so. With a sound like a large vacuum cleaner, it started up. You could see the ceiling panels rippling and vibrating. Looking at the ceiling, I suddenly realized that I was sitting right under an opening about three inches in diameter that had a few cobwebs and such like hanging from it. Oops, too late. Wads of dust and construction debris started spraying out of that hole, covering me and the woman (a stranger) sitting next to me. Apparently they had forgotten to hook up the collection bag or whatever.
I have no idea where this came from, and really, it was patently absurd. But it strikes me as so funny that I keep giggling every time I think about it.
On another subject entirely:
Happy Foalday to my favorite pegasus,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
goldenstallion
(Actually it was yesterday, but I forgot about it when I posted yesterday morning.)
We don't have a very high opinion of home improvement giant stores like Home Depot or Menards, but we still do shop there once in a while because there is little choice left. We both long for the days when we first bought our house in Chicago, mid-1980s, when there was a hundred year old hardware store a couple of blocks away, operated by a couple of guys in their sixties. No matter what you needed, you could go in there and describe it and they either had it, or could get it. Hinge pins for doors made in the 20s? No problem, they're up on that top shelf, just wait while I get the ladder... That sort of thing. Of course they decided to retire, and sold the business to an absentee owner who hired twenty somethings to run the store, and you can guess how that went. In any case, the building is gone now, torn down and replaced by condos.
So. Now you go into Home Depot and literally all you can find are teenagers who don't know a hinge pin from a ten penny nail. God help you if you only know the name or description of the item and don't have a sample with you, because you'll never find it except by accident (if they even stock it at all) and if they don't stock it, they aren't going to order it for you. But there isn't anywhere else to go for this stuff except possibly mail order from somewhere like Cumberland General Store or Lehman's.
But back to the dream. I'm sure it was Menards. They had just opened a huge (literally, several acres of floor space) store and we went to see it. (Probably because they sent a flyer in the mail offering a chance to win something. Gary can't refuse those.) Among other things, it had room after room of "demonstration" space where they could give lessons on how to put up dry wall or install faucets. While touring these rooms, I chanced to look into one where they were about to demonstrate a new system that could be built into drop ceilings, such as are used in many office workspaces, that would function as a dust removal and collection unit. This, the blurbs said, would reduce allergies and energy efficiency problems in buildings where heating and cooling systems run through the drop ceiling space. Makes sense, actually.
So there were rows of chairs set up in this room and I decided to see the demonstration. People filled the seats and a guy came in and talked about the advantages and how inexpensive the installation was when amortized over the life of the building, etc. etc. Then he got to the demonstration part, and walked over to a switch on the wall. He would just flip the switch, and the system would remove all the accumulated dust from the ceiling space in a minute or two. He did so. With a sound like a large vacuum cleaner, it started up. You could see the ceiling panels rippling and vibrating. Looking at the ceiling, I suddenly realized that I was sitting right under an opening about three inches in diameter that had a few cobwebs and such like hanging from it. Oops, too late. Wads of dust and construction debris started spraying out of that hole, covering me and the woman (a stranger) sitting next to me. Apparently they had forgotten to hook up the collection bag or whatever.
I have no idea where this came from, and really, it was patently absurd. But it strikes me as so funny that I keep giggling every time I think about it.
On another subject entirely:
Happy Foalday to my favorite pegasus,
goldenstallion (Actually it was yesterday, but I forgot about it when I posted yesterday morning.)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-01-24 03:18 pm (UTC)An allegory of the BMUC attempts at things? Or IT work in general? Things get cleaned up 'easily'.. for others, but the dirt gets dumped on you.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-24 03:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-24 04:19 pm (UTC)I admit it, though. I find it intensely amusing when hubris blows it for someone. Like when Windows bluescreens on Bill Gates when he's trying to demo something.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-24 04:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-24 05:51 pm (UTC)Not like my dream yesterday, when I was in a bar waiting to go on stage at an open mic/karaoke night, and in the back we were playing soccer (indoors) until the ball went flat and I had to repair the bladder with Scotch tape. (Do footballs even *have* bladders?)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-24 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-25 12:52 am (UTC)Hmm dusty hoss :) Comedy dreams? I just get weird ones that don't make any sense. Like trying to sell a Kombi full of snow to a good friend who kicks me through a brick wall.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-25 01:24 am (UTC)As far as I know, the equipment being demonstrated in that dream does not exist.