Welcome to May in November

[altivo]

Or is that November in May? Whichever, it's cold and gloomy and generally depressing. Makes me want to start up the woodstove again, though it really isn't cold enough for that. The effect is psychological somehow.

Power went out at work today about 3:45 PM. Comm Ed's recorded message said that the cause was known and the estimated recovery time was 6:00 PM. Not unusual for around here, but irritating. It actually came back on just before five.

I have finishing work to do: hems to be put into woven towels, must be done by next weekend at the latest, and should be done by hand. I don't feel like it, but can't put it off much longer. In fact, I wanna just go to bed with a book and a plushie or two.

Got the word that my oldest first cousin passed away. He'd been fighting cancer for several years now, so it wasn't a surprise, but it's another reminder of mortality. I last saw him eight years ago, when I drove to Florida for my mother's funeral. His two younger brothers are still going strong and both older than I am, but even so... On my father's direct line I'm the oldest still living, though the generations are so stretched out in that family that his older brother's living grandchildren are older than I am. I had only two first cousins on his side, and one of them was nearly as old as he. Both have been gone for quite a few years now.

Comments

[avon-deer.livejournal.com]

How can they give you an estimated fix time if they do not know the cause of the problem?

[schnee.livejournal.com]

Ah, I'm sorry to hear about your cousin.

Yeah, it's gotten quite cold here again, too - not gloomy at least, though, even though there were some clouds and some rain this last weekend. (Right now, the sun's shining again.)

[heavens-steed.livejournal.com]

Awww, I'm sorry to hear about that. At least now we can be gloomy together *snugs*

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Hmm? They said the cause WAS known. Of course they never tell you what it actually is.

[avon-deer.livejournal.com]

Sorry...was 8am when I read it.

At least you're back on now.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

It's a loss all right. We weren't close since he hadn't lived anywhere nearby since he was about 18 and I was 6 or 7 years old. He was a rarity in that he had a military career (both marines and navy) but was far from a political conservative. A loving, generous, and accepting man who admitted his own mistakes and smoothed over the mistakes of others most of the time. He was only 70, which is too young these days.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Being gloomy helps no one, though. I resist. ;p

[heavens-steed.livejournal.com]

Ah, I suppose that is a good idea. I forgot the fact that I'm a disease

[schnee.livejournal.com]

*noddles* Yeah, definitely too young. Ah well, what can you do? *hugs*

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Pffffft.

Pardon my inquisitiveness...

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

I'm by no means the wisest, but by your tone and the words you used, I have to ask something... are you afraid of dying? Are you afraid of leaving nothing behind? Do you wish to preserve an aspect of yourself?

Re: Pardon my inquisitiveness...

[altivo.livejournal.com]

There is no point in being afraid of dying. We can't avoid it or prevent it in the end, though that doesn't mean we can't postpone it by being sensible and cautious.

I'm cynical enough to believe that no one cares what I leave behind.

However, my active and still expanding mind wants as much time as possible to keep exploring and learning. I've only just begun.

[saythename.livejournal.com]

Erf...RIP cousin.

>.<

Re: Pardon my inquisitiveness... held back.

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see. I can accept that. I myself always feel like I'm making good gains... or would've had it been ten years ago. I was held back in 4th grade, and while my education continued as if uninterrupted, I feel like it was symbolic of my development outside of society's accepted norms of learning. I used to think this was because I'm larely self-taught, but living with Neil taught me how many assumptions I- and most for that matter- clung to passionatly but also blindly. I will however gently chide you if I ever get the impression you're limiting yourself by thinking your lifespan is growing shorter. It's a concept I'm not too well-versed in so I'll cut it short out of fear that I'll err too far, but I can relate it to my own terms: To me, a small chunk of my "life" is gone, but there are times when experiences restore it. Besides that, in comparision to what is "already spent", it is so insignifigant to what I sense remains that I won't worry about it for a another good 30 years at least, and that's under poor circumstances. I believe in living bigger every year... or every couple of years if you're as poor as me :P

BTW I don't know about cynicism, but I think it's far more accurate to say that while some may or may not care what you leave behind, no one will be able to relate to it as you do. If you view your perspective as being important enough that no one ever experiencing it firsthand seems like a big deal, then I could see why you'd be worried about that. Heh, I've lost too many possession to care what happens to what after I'm gone... and I don't even mean dead ^_^ I feel one should be ready to free oneself of this world's baggage at any moment, so I've left quite a trail of random things behind me XD

[soanos.livejournal.com]

It was -2C last night here in Jämsä, Finland.
Yes, it was a bit chilly. I've been feeling
miserable because of it, too. But I have some
activity planned for the weekend which I don't want
to miss.

And my condolences on the loss of our cousin.
*nuzzles the horsie*

[drgnkiyo.livejournal.com]

Sorry about your cousin. =/

And yeah, the weather has been kind of wonky here as of late as well. Things are finally picking back up. I just wish it wasn't nearly as humid. ~_~;

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that does about sum it up. I just got the obit, and as I predicted, his wishes are being followed: no funeral or memorial, just a cremation and burial. I imagine he will go to a veterans cemetery somewhere on the government's bill, as he earned that honestly enough.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

*nuzzles back*

Thanks. Hope things improve for you soon too.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Today was pretty nice, but now it's supposed to rain for days.

[cabcat.livejournal.com]

He sounded like a good man. I raise my glass for him.

[cabcat.livejournal.com]

Oh dear...the wick in the boilers gone out.

[saythename.livejournal.com]

Not to belittle your cousins death, but it
brought up conversation here at home. We talked,
around the ole family dinner table, about death,
and when asked how /I/ wanted to be buried I
said I didn't want to be buried.

"I want a funeral pyre that floats down the
river, like Darth Vader."

Silence.

"Really, or the way its done in Tibet when they
throw the body parts to birds who can...are
you making NOTES? Its a sick joke!"

Son stops eating his veggies.

"I'm leaving you in the yard with the cats."

@.@

"Now thats just wrong."

They laugh.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

*snickers*

Well, there's the Parsee method of laying you out on a rack so the vultures can eat you. Actually, there's big trouble in that area of Asia now because the vultures are all dying off and consequently the corpses of the dead go uneaten and are posing serious health hazards. Very bizarre.

I prefer the cremation. Seems a bit tidier for everyone. They can put me in the cemetery at Franklin, MI with my father and his family.