Progress continues!

[altivo]

Couldn't sleep past 4 am, so I got up and sat at the computer. The little seed that was an idea is germinating now, and a thousand words tumbled out, neatly, in just an hour or two.

New excerpt posted here. I may change my mind about keeping it under wraps until it is all polished, if there really is anyone interested in reading along as it progresses.

Comments

[calydor.livejournal.com]

“How can you be so old? I thought Nemo was just teasing when he says you are older than the rocks.”

Is that a grammatically correct tense shift? Shouldn't it be 'said'?

[altivo.livejournal.com]

It is an acceptable construct, though not probably something you've seen before. It's called the "habitual". I have a tendency to use exotic tenses and verb moods and I know they bother people who aren't accustomed to reading authors like Shakespeare or Morris. Thanks for pointing it out.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Oops. I should have explained the shade of meaning, shouldn't I?

"Nemo _was_ just teasing when he _said_ you are older than the rocks" implies that Nemo did this at least once. No idea whether he would repeat it. This is the past.

"Nemo _is_ just teasing when he _says_ you are older than the rocks" implies that Nemo does it all the time and will do it again. This is the present habitual.

"Nemo _was_ just teasing when he _says_ you are older than the rocks" implies that Nemo has done this repeatedly in the past but makes no projection about his future statements. This is the past habitual.

You find these things in 18th and 19th century English writers like Alfred Tennyson or William Morris. I have read far too much of that genre, and tend to slip into their style too easily. You've seen me playing at Shakespeare before. ;P

[songdogmi.livejournal.com]

Present habitual... past habitual... my head just went 'splodey. :)
But I did "get" it, and from what I know of your story it makes perfect sense that you would use such a construction.

Congratulations on your writing progress. :)

[altivo.livejournal.com]

A highly literate and fluent reader of English should take it in stride, yes. And calydor is fluent in English but it isn't his native language, so it's also no surprise that he would feel jolted by the unusual construction. Years ago (OMG, 17 years ago now) I was a member of a small writing group that met to critique each others' work once a month or so, and another member caught me using the same construct. He was a native speaker of German, though his English was so good you never would have guessed. And I was saved by another member with a degree in English, who explained the "habitual" to us and said that what I was doing was natural but fading from use, rather like "whom" or the subjunctive (both of which I also use.)

Now... shall we discuss aorists and pluperfects? ;P Thanks for reading. I hope to make something enjoyable of this.

[calydor.livejournal.com]

I hope to make something enjoyable of this.

You already have.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

You flatter me saying that based on two short little extracts. But thanks. :)

[niko-winterset.livejournal.com]

*smirks* Reminds me of why I struggled in English classes and despised literature from that era.

Makes my head hurt to try and read, make sense of it.

Storm

[altivo.livejournal.com]

But reading it makes your brain grow until you can understand it, you know. :)

[niko-winterset.livejournal.com]

*smirks* To each his own stallion. I could read that sort of material until my horn fell off and I would still hate it with a passion. It is simply not me nor written in a style I care anything for.

Meant to clarify earlier that I was not dogging your writing. I quite enjoyed it. I was merely commenting on the styles of 18th and 19th century literature.

Storm

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'll bet I can find some from that era that you'd like. You didn't like Black Beauty or The Call of the Wild?

What I meant to point out is that the exercise of reading difficult things is just like lifting weights to build muscle. Treated as such, it does improve the abilities of the mind, and of course that's why we make kids do it in school, no matter how much they moan, groan, and complain about it. It is very unfortunate that in many parts of the US, teachers have caved in to the demand that they "modernize" and give kids only "relevant" material that they understand without effort. The result is that they read Captain Underpants instead of Walter Farley, and they come out of high school still reading at a 3rd grade level.

Until about the 1980s, they then went to college and found out they couldn't keep up because the reading was so "heavy". Now, alas, even the colleges are caving and using "lite" versions of classic literature and even science and engineering texts. To me it seems as if we are collapsing into a society of anti-intellectual morons, from the president right down. </rant>

[niko-winterset.livejournal.com]

*snickers* I saw the movies. Heh. To be perfectly honest I do not recall reading those as I grew up but it is highly likely that I did at some point.

I don't totally buy into the theory that reading such material improves the ability of the mind. I am speaking more along the lines of things written in the old english style that is cumbersom at best to read and discern what they are actually saying. Of course there are wonderful pieces of literature from that era but in general some of the writing styles of that time simply give me headaches to try and read.

It is sad that kids these days leave school with a definate lack of reading skills but I don't think that is solely based on subject matter. It is the schools themselves who are pushing these kids onto higher grades without the ability to read properly. The teachers and staff promoting kids to show perfomance markers to the state and federal government so they improve their schools standings, not those of the children that graduate.

Now you have me ranting...heh.

We all have literature that appeals to us, but by and large the material that I had to read in grade school or college simply does not appeal to me. You sound like the typical English major who adores the classics and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But it is not for everyone you know. Give me a nice horror, fantasy or science fiction novel and I will be a happy pony.

Take care stallion and have a wonderful weekend.

Storm

[altivo.livejournal.com]

more along the lines of things written in the old english style that is cumbersom at best to read and discern what they are actually saying

Now that would be Chaucer or Beowulf, and other than knowing that they exist, I wouldn't require you to read them. (Actually, both are stories worthy of today's videogame and film writers, but I digress.)

No, not an English major, never was an English major. I do love the classics but I realize they aren't everyone's cup of tea. I do think everyone should have to read some Shakespeare, but it needn't be any more painful than Romeo and Juliet or Midsummer Night's Dream. You can leave Richard III for the scholars if you like.

Reading things that are a little above your level is exactly how you improve your reading skills. Any teacher will tell you that. Charles Dickens, Edgar Allan Poe, Mark Twain, or Jack London are certainly not that much more difficult to understand than Stephen King or Isaac Asimov.

Don't blame teachers. More and more their hands are tied. They are not allowed to choose the books that will be read or even the questions that will be asked on exams. These things are being prescribed for them at district or state levels, often by people who are not educators themselves. The "promotion regardless of skill" policy comes ultimately from parents, not from teachers, believe me. I've been a teacher and otherwise involved in education long enough to know. You are told that you cannot fail a student, for any number of reasons from "He's on the football team" to "His father is on the school board" to "It's bad for his self esteem." So... said student graduates and still can't read, write, or make change from a twenty.

[pioneer11.livejournal.com]

I like the little touches you put in the narrative, the snort
or the thought. Nice. And flying hosses! Oh my. ^_^

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it. I'll get the whole thing posted eventually, somewhere.

[heavens-steed.livejournal.com]

Very well written Tivo. I am already finding the main characters interesting. The flow was nice too.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it. There will be more to come, of course.