Library users say the darnedest things

[altivo]

Blessed Mixings: Titles You Wish Really Existed
(these are all titles users have actually asked for)

Waterford Chocolate (Like Water for Chocolate)
Satanic Nurses (Satanic Verses, also asked for as Satin Verses)
Moby Dick in comic book form (Classics Illustrated did actually have this years ago)
Salad at a Bad Restaurant (Ballad of the Sad Cafe)
The Le Mans Method of Childbirth (creates a vivid image, no?)
Midnights in Havana... or maybe it was Moonlight in Savannah's Garden (Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil)
The Phallic Mosaic (Parsifal Mosaic)
Too Short to Live by Mickey Rooney (Life is Too Short)
Lez Miserableballs (Les Miserables)
Falcon and the Wand of God (Falconer and the Eye of God)
Youth in Asia (Euthanasia)
Striving on Chous (Thriving on Chaos)
Lesee Moon by William Prairie (PrairyErth by William Least Heat Moon)
Lux Radio by Les Miserables (Lux Radio Theater version of Les Miserables)
I Left My Heart at Broken Arm (Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee)
Knock Me Down by Yates (Knock 'Em Dead by Martin Yate)
Tequila Mockingbird (To Kill a Mockingbird)
Taco Bell Canon (Pachelbel's Canon)
Women Who Dance with Wolves (Women Who Run With the Wolves? Dances With Wolves?)
Women Who Run with the Elves (see above)
"That book about all those dead cowboys by Dana Kubler Ross." (Westerns by Dana Fuller Ross + On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler Ross?)
Diuretics (Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard)

Comments

Les Miserables?

[hgryphon.livejournal.com]

I used to piss a friend off by insisting on calling this "Less Miserable."

[quickcasey.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I needed a good laugh today. Le Mans Method of Childbirth. Tee Hee. I came up with Taco Bell's Cannon too, after a night where the stuff disagreed with me.

[vakkotaur.livejournal.com]

L. Ron Hubbard and Diuretics seems somehow appropriate.

[duskwuff.livejournal.com]

See below.

[duskwuff.livejournal.com]

As to the last... you never know, they might have meant Diarrhetics.

[songdogmi.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is *so* getting forwarded to my co-workers... :-)

[zenicurean.livejournal.com]

Suddenly I just have to forward this to everyone I know at the English department.

[bariki.livejournal.com]

Euthanasia sounds like a much better idea for some of these malaprops. ^)^

[plushlover.livejournal.com]

Hilarious! This is one for my 'Memories' list.

[doc-moreau.livejournal.com]

Yep. Got a laugh out of me too. :P
Are these actual instances you've dealt with?

...Too Short to Live ;p

[altivo.livejournal.com]

These were collected by a reference discussion group. But I've had a few just as bad.

[animist.livejournal.com]

Diuretics (Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard)

There was a book called (I believe) "Diarrheatics - The Science of Mental Health through Regular Bowel Movements" in "Repo Man" one of my favorite movies. :)

[lobowolf.livejournal.com]

Ah, and once again, it is proved that truth is stranger...or in this case...more entertaining than fiction.

Every once in awhile gems like these come about...on my way to MFF, I was seated next to an 8th grade history teacher. We chatted a bit, and every once in awhile I'd glance over while he was correcting papers. One in particular caught my eye....I don't remember the exact question, but it went something like this:

Q. Who were we fighting during the revolutionary war?

A: The Aztecs?

We both got a pretty good chuckle out of that one, and little Miss Sarah Parker got an "F."

[altivo.livejournal.com]

No extra credit for knowing how to spell "Aztecs" huh? XD

*peers at icon* All your nice fluffy furs fell out but it's cute.

[(Anonymous)]

Loriana did a squeaky portrait of me ;)

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Loriana? Nice job. I knew she did art, but I don't think I've seen any examples before. You definitely look squeaky AND huggable.

[pioneer11.livejournal.com]

This is long ago and far away, and prolly lame but....

"Curious Joe?"

"Whats that dear?"

"You have Curious Joe?"

"No."

*looks sad and bites his lip*

"The bear guy?"

"Bear guy?"

"With the hat?"

"No."

*looks upset*

"Curious Joe! Curious Joe!"

*a twenty something in 1971 wanders by with her
long straight brown hair*

"He wants Curious George"

"Yeah!"

*gets his book*

[pioneer11.livejournal.com]

http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/movies.php?id=464

[altivo.livejournal.com]

That sort of thing happens a lot when the request is from a little kid. And usually they are shy and talk real tiny and soft and slur their words too, which makes it very hard.

[aerofox.livejournal.com]

"Youth in Asia"???

ROTFLOL ^_^

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Yup. Often times these requests reach me when our interlibrary loan staffer can't figure out what they are. Apparently I have a knack for decoding them. And yes, they are frequently as jumbled as the ones in this list.