Uncontrolled laughter

[altivo]

Had some friends over for a spaghetti dinner yesterday. My mate makes the most spectacular spaghetti and meatballs, we never have trouble attracting guests with that. Anyway, the dirty dishes had piled up and most of us were in a good mood aided by some nice Aussie shiraz (Jacob's Creek, 2003) when the subject of glass harmonicas came up.

This inevitably caused Gary to produce a catalog from his huge collection of mail order catalogs that he expected would offer one. We couldn't find it in there, because the index was awful, not even in alphabetic order. Anyway, during the hunt I chanced to land on several pages of bagpipes. Now, I don't detest the bagpipes as some do. In their place, I think they are quite lovely. Even so (and perhaps you had to be there) I ended up in that rare state where you try to read something aloud and the very thought of it keeps making you laugh so that you can't read or speak.

The "accessories" available for the bagpipes were a long list of improbable sounding items with funny names:

• Little Mac bagpipe valve
• Reamer to install Little Mac
• Airstream blowpipe with built in Little Mac
• Airstream mouthpiece (for use with airstream blowpipe)
• Airtight bag seasoning
• Bore oil
• Hemp 1 oz
• Hemp 2 oz
• Cobbler's black wax
• Rubber stoppers for plugging stocks, set of 5
• Rubber stoppers for plugging drone pipes, set of 3
• Bagpipe teflon tape
• Goose adaptor

Definitely makes the instrument sound like a plumber's nightmare, no?

And the item that made me lose it?

"Rubber flapper valve"... which for some reason I immediately associated with the one inside the loo or toilet tank. I haven't had a laugh like that, where you find you can't even breathe, in a long, long time. Probably at least since my Mom passed away. She had a way of inspiring those situations. Anyway, you probably had to be there, but I needed to make note of it and what caused it. ;)

Comments

[drelonek.livejournal.com]

I had a laugh-until-you-can't-breathe moment myself last night, and they're fun, to say the least.. though they make my cheeks hurt. :P

[altivo.livejournal.com]

I did wonder if the "bag seasoning" came in flavors, like maybe Italian, Mexican, or Chinese?

[pioneer11.livejournal.com]

The rubber bits on that list do, in fact, make me think of
the stuff in the back of the toilet.

But "Rubber Flapper Valve" makes me think of some kind of
kinky naughty 1920s girl. @.@

Okay, I'm like that. XD

[altivo.livejournal.com]

I've heard some pipers for whom the rubber stoppers do seem appropriate, and all that talk about Little Mac made me think of inserting a Big Mac into the pipes. o.O

[pioneer11.livejournal.com]

*gasps!*

Naughty!

Oh..you meant...

Never mind. XD

[niko-winterset.livejournal.com]

You know Tivo, there is just a multitude of naughty comments that could be made from that list of items. You'r fortunate that I'm trying to behave myself (we will see how long that lasts) and that Bariki is probably in transit somewhere.

Take care stallion and Happy New Year

Storm

[calydor.livejournal.com]

But I'm here ...

[niko-winterset.livejournal.com]

Well.....what are you waiting for then?

Don't tell me we have to nudge you for naughty comments this year. :P

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Now that's a new year's resolution contest I'd like to see. Let's make it a competition, though. All four of you: bariki, niko_winterset, calydor, chibiabos. Who can stay clean the longest?

o.O

[niko-winterset.livejournal.com]

*snorts and taps his hoof* Well the big question is what is in it for us?

I mean come on, you really can't expect us to be good just beacuse. :P

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Sorry, yes, I forgot myself there. Just because I'm good for the sake of doing it doesn't mean you guys would be. Anyway, I'd never be able to tell who cheated first, since I don't have enough eyes and spies.

[niko-winterset.livejournal.com]

*grins* You know, I should probably take offense at you implying that I can't be good just because but then again I did basically say that it my previous comment. :P

I cannot speak for the others but I have been good so far this year. I haven't even ma...oh wait. I can't say that without losing the contest.

*snickers* But then again can you really trust the word of a naughty uni?

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you already said you couldn't be good unless there was something in it for you, so I knew I was perfectly safe.

The new year is awfully young, you have plenty of time to mess up. ;P

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Hah. I'll spare everyone what you could do with the complete list, then. This version was edited (for length and to get the highlights.) Now that I think about it in that light, it's just as well.

[darkhorseman.livejournal.com]

what about a 3/4" pygmie flange? Ive got the blowtorch if anyone needs it.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Ouch.

[marzolan.livejournal.com]

I think you just had a good deal of silly in you last night ^^

[altivo.livejournal.com]

And a good deal of Aussie red. But yes, I can be silly at times. That's what plushies are for. :)

[marzolan.livejournal.com]

*smiles* very true. If a plushie can't get us to smile, who can?

[kamodragon.livejournal.com]

hehehe those names are pretty out there for somone not into 'bagpiping'! If I had a goose and a bagpipe I guess I would have to buy the adaptor then? When I went to Spain a few years ago I bought a little mini bagpipe that is sold for tourists and it sounds like a bagpipe on helium...

Glad you had a nice evening.. laughter is so incredibly healthy for the soul....

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Gary figures the goose adaptor is for when you can't get a duck to put into the bag and a goose is the only thing available.

[kamodragon.livejournal.com]

but Geese are mean! and I dunno if that lumpy head can produce a sound like a duck can... hrmp!

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Oh, there are mean geese and then there are just plain stupid geese. The neighbor's pair of geese steer clear of me now. I got tired of them following me around and honking at me, so I started chasing them away with a broom. They don't come near me any more. ;p

[kamodragon.livejournal.com]

hehehe... I like ducks..

[altivo.livejournal.com]

We have some of those. They're getting old and arthritic, though.

[kamodragon.livejournal.com]

awwwrs... what do you feed them? I think they have special duck feed that helps with joints and not gettin' fat

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Geriatric duck food? That's new to me. Our feed store offers two kinds: breeding food (for getting more eggs supposedly) and growing food (for growing ducklings up to market size.) We have the ducks for eggs, but they don't like the breeding food so we give them the duckling stuff along with fresh greens shredded up and tossed in their water. This time of year that means cabbage. In summer it may be cucumbers, lettuce, or whatever we have extra from the garden.

[kamodragon.livejournal.com]

For a while a local Walmart actually had Duck food for 'better health'... Of course most people in the city arent avid duck owners so it didnt stay on the shelf for but a few months...

[songcoyote.livejournal.com]

Reamer to install Little Mac
I don't usually need a reamer for a Little Mac.

Airstream mouthpiece (for use with airstream blowpipe)
Nice blow on the pipe, there! (Okay, that was too obvious.)

Bore oil
Lubricating a bore has a decent chance of making them less boring.

Hemp 1 oz
This is more than enough to last me a whole year or more!

Rubber stoppers for plugging stocks, set of 5
Oooohhh, baby - plug my stock. Plug it harder! Now the drone!

Goose adaptor
Consider your adaptor thoroughly goosed! (I have strong hands!)

Bagpipes are inherently amusing - though I do like the music when it's played well. I wish I'd been there for the laugh. We had a few at the holiday gatherings we had this year, but nothing quite so raucous.

I am reminded of the classic joke about the octopus who could play any instrument....

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Oooh, strong paws? *quiver*

See note above about goose adaptors, actually.

I was reminded of a comic postcard some friends sent us from Scotland years ago. "The unfortunate incident at the home of McTavish, the near-sighted piper..." Said piper had his cat tucked under his arm and was biting its tail, which of course produced sufficient caterwauling to keep him convinced he had hold of the correct object. The actual bagpipes were lying on the floor in front of the cat's food dish.

[songcoyote.livejournal.com]

Well, maybe not strong to someone who handles horses regularly (most such folk I've met have remarkably strong grips), but I've been known to hold down the occasional uppity one who needed a good handlin'.

Speaking of which, go see Brokeback Mountain. It's not the happiest of movies, but it's pretty darned good if you can deal with the whole cowboy / redneck thing (that's what kept my dad from enjoying it much).

At the very least there's some gorgeous scenery and some hot man-to-man kissin', which is nice to see (and I haven't had in too long).

Hmm... I wonder if I've said too much? Nah.

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do plan to see Brokeback Mountain one way or another. A mainstream movie that deals in any sensitive way with two males feeling love for each other? No way I'd miss it. I hope they don't have to be "punished" in the end for what they felt, though. That's often been the out taken by writers and playwrights in the last century or so. They figure they can't get into the mainstream unless they moralize somehow. Probably I should just read Annie Proulx's book and see what she intended.

[songcoyote.livejournal.com]

As much as I want to comment on this I won't, as the story is better seen through without knowing.

*stifles even more commments*

I'd better end this little note. Go see it!

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. In my experience (admittedly limited) not many men really know how to kiss. I don't pretend to be an expert but at least I really like it for its own sake and not as something you are obligated to do in order to get to the good part. ;P

[kamodragon.livejournal.com]

I had only one mate a while back that was an awesome kisser... It is rare.

[songcoyote.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm told I kiss well, though my moustache does occasionally tickle the nose.

And I love kissing for its own sake. I'm sorry if you've ever been with someone who saw it as an obstacle between them and the good part. Kissing can be its own reward :) One beloved of mine and I once kissed for over an hour - it was delightful!

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Mmm, yes, that does sound nice.

[doc-moreau.livejournal.com]

Bagpipes are wonderful. I heard something on the radio recently that was an instrumental made up of bagpipes backed by strings, and it was quite beautiful. ...made me wish i had the time and money and patience to learn such an instrument.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Heh heh. Yes, they are wonderful. Especially the smaller ones that are truly meant to be played indoors. The Scottish war pipes are best heard in groups from a distance, though.

As for learning, well, my advice would be to pick an easier instrument. My mate has a penchant for picking the difficult and bizarre, and even he gave up on the bagpipes, though he plays hammered dulcimer, Anglo concertina, and even hurdy-gurdy. I'll stick with keyboards and conventional winds myself.

[doc-moreau.livejournal.com]

I really ought to work on becoming fluent in guitar, keyboards, or theremin, first... since those are the instruments i have. Actually i have a tenor banjo too, but it needs work, because it doesn't stay in tune.
I've strictly been working on improving my skill with voice, though. That's a lot of work too...

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Theremin has long fascinated me. But that's one really difficult instrument, which is more than enough at a time. :)

[chakawolf.livejournal.com]

Know why bagpipers march around when they play? They're trying to get away from the noise!

What's the definition of optimism? A bagpiper with a pager!

What's the difference between a chainsaw and a bagpipe? You can tune a chainsaw!

(Just being silly -- I got nuthin' 'gainst them bagpipers!)

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Those jokes go both ways. I don't play the bagpipe, but I do sometimes play the accordion.

If you were lost in the arctic, would you rather have a bagpipe or an accordion with you?

Take the accordion, it burns longer.

If you came upon a bagpipe and an accordion lying in the road, which would you run over?

Hit the bagpipe first. The accordion is bigger, it's easy to get it by backing up.

[songcoyote.livejournal.com]

I am reminded of an old favorite Far Side cartoon of people arriving at their "ultimate destinations" (from a mainstream religion's viewpoint):

"Welcome to Heaven - here's your harp."

"Welcome to Hell - here's your accordion."

Whee!
SongCoyote

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Yes, I remember that one. And another, where the devil is showing the former orchestra director around. "And here's your room, Maestro!" he says, pushing the guy into a room full of banjo playing hicks. ;)

[songcoyote.livejournal.com]

Yay! Another Larson fan who can recall tidbits from comics of yore :)

The one that, for reasons unknown, has always made me laugh the hardest, every time I see it, is The African Rakesnake.

The chicken on a balloon in the samurai bar is good, too.

Why do I remember this stuff? It must be for...

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Other favorites of mine:

The boneless chicken ranch

The student in class waving his hand and saying "May I be excused, please? My brain is full."

And my very favorite of all (naturally): The two anthro horses dragging a cowboy out of a saloon. "No matter what he tried, wild horses kept dragging Jake away."

[tarirat.livejournal.com]

I'll take the 2 ounces of Hemp. ;o)