I am so going to regret this...

[altivo]

But I answered a couple of them, so fair is fair. From multiple friends:

If you had me alone...locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you do with me? All replies will be permanently screened because it's a secret. Then repost this in your LJ. You might be surprised with the responses you get.

Comments

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Ack. Not the video games... please, sir... anything but the video games...

[altivo.livejournal.com]

You might be surprised at how complex an evening with 'Tivo can be. But yes, I'd enjoy that long chat.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

I've answered yours now. I wasn't sure I should until you posted here.

Cuddles are good, no question about it.

[calydor.livejournal.com]

Feel free to unscreen this one if you wish.

I'd probably lock you up in the kitchen and have you make some of those cakes you've teased me with on numerous occasions. Cinnamon in particular.

Do I get a prize for least sexual EVER comment to one of these posts?

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Cinnamon rolls? Sure. How about pizza too? Oh that's right, you don't like cheese. Hmmm. Spaghetti probably.

And actually, no, most of these responses have been quite non-sexual. ;D

[calydor.livejournal.com]

I like cheese in moderation, especially on pizza. Just not TOO much.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

This deserves a cheesy response of some kind.

GORGONZOLA!

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Sure. *shows you a box of yarn so you can pick a color*

All four paws or just the footpaws? ;D

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Kettle on, rolls in the oven. If I'm really good, maybe you'll show me your current projects? ;)

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Yep, I can cook and don't mind doing it. Weaving lessons would sure take more than 24 hours, but yeah. Socks I could do in that time, I'm a fast knitter. And maybe if I was good enough you'd take me to meet all those horses you write about? ;)

[altivo.livejournal.com]

*snorts* I thought you were only interested in mares.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

No one thing in particular, just nothing you have said in the past gave the least hint otherwise.

[calydor.livejournal.com]

*earperks*

Wait a sec, this isn't my thread ...

[altivo.livejournal.com]

And it has to be?

[calydor.livejournal.com]

Well, mares were mentioned, so ... yeah?

[altivo.livejournal.com]

A somewhat evasive answer since you never told us what that was. However, I can assume it was largely talk and chatter, which indeed I expect is what we'd share as well, along with some food and drink.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

That's not a problem. I'd stay without being locked up unless you deliberately kicked me out.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Of course you get a ping when you see a moose. Or maybe even a horse. Think about it. However, I can promise a fine dinner without serving either one, or for that matter, anything frozen. Working in someone else's kitchen can be tricky, especially a disused kitchen, but I've learned to improvise over the years.

As for trains and cars, by all means, show me.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I forgot. I snore too sometimes, or so I'm told. So no need to be self-conscious about it.

[pioneer11.livejournal.com]

First...I'd have to fumigate you...your from the 60s.

You did see Field Of Dreams didn't you?

Then, as I let you peruse my copy of The Last Whole Earth Catalog
I'd make you dinner. Hmm...a hoss...well I've got oatmeal and apples
and cinnomen and other good stuff. But I think maybe I'd pull out
the Wok and try a nice stir fry for you. Ginger root...ginger root...
I know it was around here...ah...there.

Then I'd wheel out the Triumph and give you a helmet. Um...no, right
after dinner a ride on a bike might not be the best idear.

So lets do cards. Friendly like, guns on the table.

/Then/ I'd ride you over to Equistar and see the hosses that
we take the handicap people on to ride. They love those hosses,
they are gentle ones that give big soft hoss kisses and trot
around in slow circles. The people squeal in delight and
the hosses roll there eyes but smile.

No, no yiff. I'm an old fashioned sort from the 80s.

Okay...you can fumigate me now...

"Back! Back to the 80s with you!"

^_^

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Ginger root? I'll bet you have no idea about ginger root and horses.

Equistar sounds nice, you haven't mentioned it before I think.

O.O!!!

[pioneer11.livejournal.com]

I had no idea! I just like how ginger root makes
stir fry taste more "genuine" like at a resturaunt!

*reads about ginger root and horses*

Oh my. @.@

Re: O.O!!!

[altivo.livejournal.com]

I like ginger root too. A whole lot. So don't leave it out on my account.

But that's to eat, not for any other purposes. ;P

Re: O.O!!!

[pioneer11.livejournal.com]

Honestly I want to know something.

Someone had to figure out that if you cut up a bunch of
ginger root and rub your eyes...ow ow ow.

Okay...but...I really want to know how the thought
process went from; "Hey that stings" to; "I want
to put a bunch of this stuff in my horse's asshole!"

Humans never cease to amaze me.

@.@

Re: O.O!!!

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Well, they probably would have used habanero peppers if they'd had them at the time. Some humans are willing to use anything and anyone in order to achieve their own selfish goal. They do things like surgically altering horses' tails to make them stand up, too. Or cutting their tails off (not just the hair, but the bone and muscle, just like the way dogs are abused) because it's fashionable or traditional. I don't always like humans very much.

Re: O.O!!!

[pioneer11.livejournal.com]

"I don't always like humans very much"

Agreed.

Oh, you can unscreen all this conversation if you like,
its probably got some on you list going c.c

Re: O.O!!!

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Well, the point of the meme, I think, is to create these one sided threads that make people wonder. But OK, I'll unscreen this one. :)

[pioneer11.livejournal.com]

As for Equistar its a program that lets the handicapped experience
riding horses. It involves carefully vetted places that have to
meet certain standards by the State. There are professional
trainers and operaters and also many volunteers, usually university
students. Also there must always be at least two staff from the
home the handicap person resides in, one of which would be moi.

They have a ramp to get wheelchairs or people with walkers up
to the level of the saddle and then the person is helped on.

The horses simply trot in a huge circle inside a fence. Easy work.

The handicapped I've taken there are usually overjoyed at the
experience. So much so that its infectious. The first time I
took someone (a girl with cerebral palsy) it was almost
maudlin, I got all teary at how happy she was.

The horses seem to enjoy it muchly too, maybe for the same
reason.

And yes, they do nuzzle the riders on occasion at the ramp and
we go "aww!"

I had to ride along once with a guy that was so twisted up
he wasn't going to stay upright even with the twenty something
volunteers to each side.

I'd forgotten how pleasant a horse can be being from the
city.

Its really a wonderful program. I give credit to the person
that thunk it up. It sorta balances out the "lets purposely
hurt animals by putting hot stuff in there nether regions".

Almost.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that sounds great. I've seen similar reactions to contact with animals, not just horses but lambs, bunnies, even chickens. Frankly, I think it's a basic human need, and one of the ways in which we sometimes damage ourselves is by denying it and trying to be oh-so-independent of our roots and fellow creatures, to the point where you hear people say things like "So what? It's only an animal."

Riding is a primal experience. The horse has been with us for so long that we are evolved for each other and, when both are mentally healthy enough, fit together like two pieces of Lego(tm). For me it's not about going fast or jumping things or feeling like flying or any of the other metaphors you hear. It's about sharing and partnership. This huge and gentle creature willingly carries me, not because I've forced her to with chains and spurs and threat of punishment, but because at least she doesn't mind and perhaps she even likes it a bit. Horse cooperates with us. Obviously he doesn't have to, but he does it anyway. Even my little mare could flatten and kill me if she really wanted to, but instead she licks my neck or face and looks at me as if to say "Was that OK?"

[pioneer11.livejournal.com]

"Riding is a primal experience."

I think so. As you say later in your post, these animals
are rather imposing and far stronger then just a human
on his own with no technology. Its a gentle, and innocent,
experience of intimacy to ride a horse. As you say, not
flying along or such (I remember a guy in the Army from
Montana laughing at the Young Guns movie; "Like you can
find a place with no chuck holes to ride like that!") just
sitting and realizing this large animal that could be like
a grizzly and physically wipe you out lets you hang on and
go for a walk.

Not that all horses are like that.

Some horses nip and bite and buck and kick and would
rather be shot dead with ginger root in the ass then
have you dare to sit on them. When I lived in Kentucky
with my sister I saw some of those horses. They wouldn't
mind /working/ mind you, but just don't get on them.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

That's true. Some take a lot more convincing, but an expert at the kind of communication needed can do it without ever exercising any force at all. I've watched this kind of talent in action, and can only be in awe of it.

More often, the horse who reacts that way has had a frightening experience at some time that needs to be reversed, and that can be quite difficult to do. And, like dogs, some horses are a better match for certain humans than others.

[hellmutt.livejournal.com]

Nothing more dreadful than babble at you about various animal-oriented fiction, I'm afraid. :D (Feel free to unscreen this if you wanna; I have no aura of studliness to maintain.)

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Well, that sounds quite interesting and entertaining. :)