I'm trying to picture the teddy bear controls. Maybe you squeeze its right paw to move the ship right, tap the left foot to fire the port-side phasers (er, hockey pucks), and hug its tummy really tight to stop if it's going fast. Even a tickle in the ribs to make the ship speed up.
Hee! Many of us plushie types have no naughty bits. Sufficient distraction might make the bear's head explode, of course, putting a major kink in the guidance system...
Commander Scott: Captain, ye've done it again. And we're fresh out of bear stuffing. I dinno if I ken patch him together this time.
Captain Kirk: I'm counting on you, Scottie. We have to be out of this quadrant in three hours.
Commander Scott: Three hours! Ye'll be lucky if I kin do it in three weeks! But I'll give it a go.
Well, it does say hockey pucks, but I have other ideas.
I've often thought that folks like Romulans and Klingons were so nasty just because they didn't eat properly and their digestion and blood sugar were all out of whack. So I think maybe a pancake cannon that fires stacks of buckwheat goodness might be in order. Load up the photon torpedoes with butter and maple-y goodness. Tune the phasers to heat it all up and provide hot tea or coffee to order.
With weaponry like that, we could probably conquer anyone... syrup-titiously of course. ;P
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 08:06 am (UTC)You can tell I'm putting off work, can't you....
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Date: 2006-03-30 08:23 am (UTC)Pinch butt to sound horn? Cover ears for communication blackout?
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Date: 2006-03-30 09:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 09:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 09:53 am (UTC)What if the teddy bear gets too distracted from all the kinkiness? You could end up in another dimension.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 10:22 am (UTC)Commander Scott: Captain, ye've done it again. And we're fresh out of bear stuffing. I dinno if I ken patch him together this time.
Captain Kirk: I'm counting on you, Scottie. We have to be out of this quadrant in three hours.
Commander Scott: Three hours! Ye'll be lucky if I kin do it in three weeks! But I'll give it a go.
Captain Kirk: Good man. Kirk out.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 01:01 pm (UTC)Strange concept ;)
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Date: 2006-03-30 01:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 01:37 pm (UTC)And um... what would the weapons on a ship that spreads peace and love be? Care Bears?
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Date: 2006-03-30 01:56 pm (UTC)I've often thought that folks like Romulans and Klingons were so nasty just because they didn't eat properly and their digestion and blood sugar were all out of whack. So I think maybe a pancake cannon that fires stacks of buckwheat goodness might be in order. Load up the photon torpedoes with butter and maple-y goodness. Tune the phasers to heat it all up and provide hot tea or coffee to order.
With weaponry like that, we could probably conquer anyone... syrup-titiously of course. ;P
*ducks, covers, and gallops out of range*
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Date: 2006-03-30 02:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 02:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 02:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 03:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 04:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 06:47 pm (UTC)