(no subject)

[altivo]

Went by friends' for supper and had great stuff. Fresh tomato tart, potato fritata, and Gary made flatbreads and two kinds of hummus. Also a delightful French wine of which I had too much, but Gary was driving so that was OK.

Tomorrow I don't have to go to work, so I have to remember not to do that. I'm judging at the county fair again, so I'm due at the fairgrounds 9 am. Then the afternoon is free to work on spinnning or weaving.

Comments

[cabcat.livejournal.com]

*gives you the kitten look hearing of the nice food*
Curse this diet.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Diet? *offers you some nice celery* ;p

[cabcat.livejournal.com]

*looks at the celery his bottom lip trembling* Waaahhh *cries*

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Now, now. Eat up the celery like a good kitty and then you can have just a tiny piece of pie.

[cabcat.livejournal.com]

*nibbles miserably on the celery* XD

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

More about food... I'd do bad things for free celery right now :P

[altivo.livejournal.com]

I'd give you more than celery and you wouldn't have to do anything but be reasonably polite. ;p

Is Florida so backward that you can get no public assistance at all?

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

Well, it's pretty backward, but at this point it's just very slow and confusing- I really have to seek out the answers and then decipher the codes they lock useful services behind... every day is like shaking the old 8 ball: "Answer unclear, try again later" I get hints and suggestions- the rest I have to come up with myself :P

Not having a phone or address doesn't help, either...

[altivo.livejournal.com]

I can certainly understand how that last could be an issue. But, jeez, they are supposed to be dealing with people in that situation. So they should have a practical way of doing it.

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

It's a gradual work in process- er, progress- I've found a place to stay for the weekend- the promise of a free haircut & bathing (which is a big plus for me)- but then it's more uncertainty and searching. Money, of course is the hardest thing to come by.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

I can understand why they don't hand out money, though. I'm sure you'd use it wisely but most of those they deal with would not. It seems that you should be able to get some food, shelter, and at least a place that would take messages for you to help you looking for work.

I do know there are a lot of "catch-22" flaws in those systems. Like you are probably eligible for foodstamps, but without a fixed address and a lot of paperwork to show that your income (or lack thereof) qualifies you, they won't help you with that. Lack of an address is a killer I'm sure. In this area there's an agency that helps with that. They provide temporary places to sleep and bathe, and also provide a phone message taking and mailing address service to help you while you look for a job.

I can understand wanting a bath. That's hard for me even just when I go camping. Haircut? Well, no. My hair is always long, I don't cut it except to trim split ends. ;p

done deal

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

Heh, my address problem seems dealt with... and yes, I've signed up for food stamps now. the haircut is the only thing that's fallen through, but it's hardly a neccesity. I like other guys who have long hair- mine just irks me when it's long, so I prefer it short. Things seem to be progressively improving... I seem to be hitting every branch as I climb up :P the heat is insane here... otherwise, things seem to be getting a little easier.

Re: done deal

[altivo.livejournal.com]

That does sound like some progress. Heat? Yeah, I've been in Florida in the summer. Generally I'd rather deal with cold than heat. You be careful about that.

I hope the food stamps work out. I know in some states they are impossible to get unless you already live somewhere with a kitchen you can use. But if you can get them and know how to use them wisely, you at least won't starve or be malnourished. That has to help some at least.

Re: done deal

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

Yeah- though, to be honest, at this point I've gotten my senses so finely tuned to opportunities like food (you'd be surprised at how much people just leave lying around- though I must confess to a little dumpster diving in hard times) and money (my ears and eyes are well trained to hear change hitting the ground in the midst of a crowd or to spot anything anywhere that even vaguely resembles currency)...plus, the mall near where I go online gives out free samples daily, and I rarely walk away with less than five or six under my belt :P

For those of you in the audience who think this is odd, gross or seemingly unnecessary, ask yourself when was the last time you had no way of getting food for days at a time... then ask yourself how far would you go when hunger became so bad it made you weak and delusional. Aside from things that are rotten or worth more effort than payoff, I turn down nothing... this morning I found no less than 3 perfectly good bottles of soda- one was a bit flat, but otherwise fine, the other two were still sealed!

I actually had enough change for both a soda & and ice cream sandwich yesterday, so things are improving a little, even financially... so, I feel pretty good right now ^_^

Re: done deal

[altivo.livejournal.com]

I'm relieved that you are managing to get by, but still both worried and irritated that this could happen to anyone. I hope you get a good break soon.

Re: done deal

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

*pats you on the back* Aww, you needn't feel too bad, Alt... I've been able to become a much stronger person from all of this; yeah, it sucks from most points of view, but taken a certain way, and it becomes the next step in the development of a strong will, mind, body & identity I was seeking... I won't deny it's difficult, but I'm learning to adapt in ways I'd never imagined possible *chuckles* I only wish others were so fortunate as to have whatever it is in me that allows me to bounce back from the kinds of things I have gone through in life... it almost makes me want to have children, so I can pass this along to others :P *ponders for a moment* well, maybe not XD

Re: done deal

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Obviously you're one tough guy. No, I didn't mean it THAT way. ;p

Re: done deal

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

Thanks, uh... what way? I missed it... but thanks anyhow. There's no point in getting upset about things unless you're going to use your emotions to help you create change in the things that bother or effect you so- I appreciate your caring, but there's no sense hating a pathetic system or making it personal... I do hope my story will encourage people to become more proactive in these suuporting/changing these areas, but I'm far too busy to take a larger role for hte time being :P

Re: done deal

[altivo.livejournal.com]

THAT was as in the movie tough guy who feels no apparent emotion and only interacts with people by punching them out or maybe raping them. That's what you're not, thank goodness.

I've been trying to support changes that would prevent what you're experiencing from being so difficult or hopeless, but mostly I'm just labeled a "dirty liberal" for that. The social climate in this country really, really needs to change.

Re: Accept no substitutes

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

*chuckles* No, I'm no movie imitation... I never had the desire to be one of those sullenly stupid "badasses" who seem to be dull and bored cattle who wander meaninglessly through life, albeit with a bit more meat on their bones.

Thanks for saying so... I haven't the slightest idea what to think of you as... maybe that in itself is a compliment, depending on how you interpret it :P

As for your efforts- I'm interested in what you've been up to, please share with me, won't you? It sounds interesting.

Difficulty is something you can change, but hopelessness is a matter of the mind, Alt. You have to understand how the individual thinks before you can teach them how to cope with hopelessness... which is something they may- or, like me, may not- choose to think. I've spent enough of my life feeling powerless and under someone else's control; I decided I wanted to be in control of my life, and that it in turn would motivate others to take control of theirs. Where I am, there is chaos all around, but not in me... in me there is order, definite purpose, determination in times of difficulty, and satisfaction when the goals are reached. There is no room for whining, complaining, "bitching & moaning", regret, shame, or self-consciousness. I gave them up like other people give up booze or cigarettes... speaking of which, I am the only one where I live who doesn't smoke- yet I do not judge or preach to others about their shortcomings and lack of self-control. I take comfort in myself for being an exception, and a beacon of hope for the hopeless.

Re: Accept no substitutes

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Oh my efforts are nothing spectacular, just "responsible". I write letters to politicians, and vote as I consider appropriate to support better social support networks. I give some money to various charitable agencies, but that's really a drop in the bucket and I admit I tend more often to donate spare bits to animal welfare or environmental groups (but I'm very selective about which ones.)

As for what to think of me as, well typical labels that have been applied range from "ivory tower intellectual" to "socialist" to "communist" to "bleeding heart liberal" and of course we shouldn't leave out "pervert" and "queer" (on account of being gay and a furry.)

You're absolutely right about dealing with difficulties as opposed to lapsing into hopelessness, and I am now confident that you are going to be fine in the end of all this. Stronger than before, perhaps, but you were strong going into it. I've seen a lot of the hopelessness, and read a lot of it on LJ. I have a great deal of respect for you, which I'm sure I've already told you. You could well write a book about this whole experience. There have been a couple of others in that vein that have been very successful in recent years.

Re: Accept no substitutes

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

...well, except for the actual crime- I'm not allowed to "make money" of my deed by telling about the actual incident, but the rest is fair game; an idea about a character not entirely unlike myself getting his life together after a huge plunge does interest me....

Perhaps I could call it, "The Story of the Horse"... I wonder if I could sell such a concept.... What do you think?

BTW none of those labels fit my perception of you, I'm going to have to think of one that does :P Thanks for the enormous respect. *hugs* It is a great comfort in some ways to be acknoweledged in such a manner. *gives a quick peck on the cheeck, then draws back respectfully & blushes a little* Anyhow, I gotta run... I'm planning on writing up a list of story ideas in my journal, feel free to peruse and see what you think when you've got a moment, bye.

Re: Accept no substitutes

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Yes, actually, that's my point. You needn't say anything about the details of the criminal charges, incident, or plea. All you have to say is that it happened, and here are the consequences and what is wrong (and right) with the system you were thrown into as a result.

Probation is supposed to help make sure that you avoid any further chance of breaking the law and become a "good citizen," yet as I see it, a considerable amount of your experience is the sort that would cause a weaker person to just give up and either turn to illegal activities in order to live or else just to end up dead or as a total dependent.

I'm confident now that you will climb back out of that pit, but most really don't. The system is broken, and it takes people with first hand experience to tell us what has to change.

Re: Accept no substitutes

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

I couldn't agree more with that second paragraph, Alt... I've found much that the system is involved with- or much that people have assumptions about- in which such is the case. Most just call it "bullshit" and give up, dismissing the whole thing... I'm just not like that.

"I want to make the point, that I'm different. I'm DEFINITLY different." -Kazuma from my favorite anime, S-CRY-ED

Re: Accept no substitutes

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Oh, absolutely. You are different, and I mean that in a complimentary way. You continue to impress me to the point that I'm silently cheering as you give each little progress report.

I do want it to be easier, because I'm convinced that you have gotten something you didn't really deserve here. But I'm also relieved that instead of just giving up, you are fighting back with a determination that bodes very well for eventual victory. Here's hoping that in the process you may inspire a few others to do the same.

Re: Accept no substitutes

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

*smiles* Seems like I already have.

To be honest, I was pushed to my limit for years, and I kept holding back, hoping some interveining force would reach out to help me. I got tired of waiting and fought back- and have been both rejected & punished by those who should have been helping me OR taking care of their responsibilities. I'll never go back to my old life, because there's nothing for me there, and at least something for me "here"... but yeah, I made a choice...