Beads?

[altivo]

*temporarily aborts planned entry*

"Furry bead code?" Huh?

This is a joke, right? Like the handkerchief codes and all that other nonsense? You're face to face with someone and you can't ask them a question if it's something you need to know? You'd rather be completely confused by a dozen contradictory color codes being passed around and your inability to distinguish "sparkles" and "stripes" in poor light conditions?

Jeez, as if there wasn't enough masochism inherent in being visibly furry, we have to dream up stuff like that?

Comments

Re: ...making life easier through overly-complicated tasks.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

It's not the honesty that's scary, but what you might be thinking. Your examples above would probably freeze me in my tracks in real life.

Re: ...making life easier through overly-complicated tasks.

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

Uh-oh, I've struck a chord... now I've got to tiptoe around before I hurt or intimidate someone- THAT's what I'm thinking. I hope you didn't think my past commment was addressing you in particular, but the general audience whom I would hope would be braodminded enough to not jump to conclusions...

Re: ...making life easier through overly-complicated tasks.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

No, I didn't think you were addressing me or anyone else in particular. And no, I'm not intimidated or hurt either. But there are some kinds of blunt honesty that really are best tempered more gently than that. Even though I'd at least feel flattered by the underlying interest, expressed in those words I'd find it threatening.

Re: ...making life easier through overly-complicated tasks.

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

...can you explain further?

Re: ...making life easier through overly-complicated tasks.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

I think I just did (vide infra.) In this specific example, it's the infamous "f word" that poses a problem. It is so value laden in our culture that it carries too many possible meanings unless given a lot more context.

You might mean to express a powerful physical attraction without any specificity about the act itself, or you might not.

You might be literally expressing contempt and a desire to do violence, or to dominate, or to simply take advantage of someone. Or not.

You might be advertising your specific preference for one role in a potential physical sex act. Or not.

You might even make such a statement as a prelude to decking someone. Well, I don't mean to say that you personally would do that, but some men certainly would.

Re: ...making life easier through overly-complicated tasks.

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

...do you find it offensive?

Re: ...making life easier through overly-complicated tasks.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

It depends on the context, as I've said. It wasn't offensive here because you were just giving generic examples (or at least, that's what I understood you to be doing.)

Whether it would offend me if you (or someone else) said it in person would really seriously depend on where we were, how well I knew the speaker, who else might have overheard it, what had passed in the conversation prior to that, and so forth.

If a stranger walked up to me and said "I want to fuck you," I'd probably turn and run. It wouldn't be a question of offensive, but rather fear.

You're not a stranger, so my reaction would depend on other contextual elements. :)

Re: ...making life easier through overly-complicated tasks.

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

*thinks for a moment, then laughs* Okay, I get it now. Given your example, I can understand that reaction... I should thank you, because that clarified a lot for me... and you were right, I wasn't being clear... heh... I think maybe the words you were using to try to make that point had- up until just now- been misinterpreted as something else. *rests my chin on my palm and smirks as I look away for a long while silently*

Re: ...making life easier through overly-complicated tasks.

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

...come to think of it, this is why I hardly speak to people in RL- words are like weapons, and people are so easily intimidated...

Re: ...making life easier through overly-complicated tasks.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

It is certainly reason to think before speaking. Having made such mistakes enough times in my life, I try very hard to consider how it will sound before I let it out. :D

There are undoubtedly contexts in which your exact wording above would be accepted and even welcome. But there are many others in which it is sufficiently unexpected to produce effects that, as you note, are not what you intended. I don't think much of anything I might hear someone say in, for example, a gay leather bar, would surprise me. On the other hand, I don't frequent such places in part for just that reason.

Re: ...making life easier through overly-complicated tasks.

[gabrielhorse.livejournal.com]

Hmm... well, I suppose I learned something about you... then I shall disjoint my examples and shy away from any kind of intensity whilst on your LJ...

But I guess as far as life goes, I haven't had enough scared villagers try to harm me in the midst of their own confusion yet :P